The 7 things we DON’T do

Unlike nearly every other marketing or writing agency on the planet, we are very happy to let you know that there are some things we don’t offer and can’t provide.

You can read what we do here, but this page explains what we don’t offer…and why.

So here are the 7 things we DON’T and WON’T do:

  1. bamboozle you with insider marketing terms and lingo

    Seriously, who does that? (Duh, like only every other marketing and advertising agency on the planet!) We speak to you in normal, everyday language, because that’s how normal people communicate with one another.

  2. sell you services that won’t help you

    Instead of trying to squeeze every last penny out of you, we’d rather help you by doing things that will actually help your business. What a concept eh?

  3. charge you extortionate fees for mediocre content

    No-one wants to pay excessively for ‘average’ content. And we don’t think you should, which is why we don’t write mediocre content. And because we’re not playing the silly marketing agency game of ‘Who’s Spending More Money to Look Successful?’, we don’t need to charge you extortionate fees.

  4. write anything without a clear idea of what results you want

    Clarity gives power. The more we know about what you want to achieve from the content you ask us to write, the more effective we’ll be able to make it. That’s why we won’t start writing anything until we know exactly what you want to achieve as a result of our work.

  5. guarantee to get your business website to page 1 of google

    We could tell you that we’re SEO whizzes and know how to ‘cheat’ Google’s algorithms. (After all, everyone else seems to say that!) But we believe in being honest and marketing ethically (gasp!). And we know that Google rewards content that is useful and that answers the questions people are asking. So we write useful, interesting and engaging content. The type of content Google (and other search engines) love, because it provides information people are looking for. No clever, advanced technical trickery. Just useful information, written well.

  6. Place perfect grammar above getting results

    While we love grammar and punctuation, we love getting results for you more. And if we have to choose between ‘perfect’ English or better engagement and persuasion of your clients and results for you, we won’t think twice about butchering an obscure rule of grammar.

  7. Lower our fees because we’re outside your budget (sorry)

    We know we’re not the cheapest and that our fees aren’t going to be affordable for some businesses. We’re okay with that as we know that we deliver incredible value to our clients. (If you can’t afford us, get in touch anyway and we’ll do our best to pass you on to a writer who may be more within your budget.)